Zombie Room

Filmmakers are not the most positive bunch when it comes to future. The visions of tomorrow are rarely too encouraging – usually, it’s just death and oppressin waiting for us.

But not always! Every now and then, a sci-fi film comes up with a world to come that’s almost beararble.

Almost.

Zombie Room takes a look at the top-7 most promising days after tomorrow. Enjoy.

7. VANILLA SKY

You know Second Life? Yeah, it’s the hyped application where you are able to create your “second life” – you know, own a home, look cool, have actual friends and have no bad hair days. The only thing is that uh… Second Life sucks the shit out of your ass through your mouth – it’s ugly, it’s slow and it’s the birth place of the saddest Internet phenomenon out there: Second Life sex.

Can’t beat the SL Sex

In Vanilla Sky future – it’s all happening. And the girls… they are not just any random pixel lumps, but look amazingly like Penelope Cruz or Cameron Diaz.

But in real life, we still have few miles to go…

6. BACK TO THE FUTURE

Hoverboards. Do I need to say more?

I do? Well, one-size-shrinks-to-fit-all -jackets!

5. MINORITY REPORT

In the future, there’s no crime – and even those who are planning to do them, get their asses kicked by Tom Cruise and his special pre-crime unit. But what’s even cooler is that in the future we go back to the times when working on computers actually felt like something. Instead of your boring old mactop, you need a huge room with a screen the size of a small movie theater, special gloves to operate it – and a physique of a sports hero to use things like the Internet. In Minority Report’s future, there’s no more fat nerds rotting away in their mom’s basements – these guys and girls are out on the squash range to be in enough good shape for some serious Googling.

Nerds of the Minority Report future stay fit.

4. THE TRUMAN SHOW

Imagine this: no more Big Brother. No more The Bold and the Beautiful. No more crappy talent shows and no more Survivor – everything is made obsolete by the biggest reality TV show ever – The Truman Show. And what’s even better: instead of you hoping every day you pass a newspaper stand that these clowns on Big Brother, Talent and Idols would get in the same car and drive off the cliff, dying a quick but an extremely painful death – you’d actually care about the main guy! The world would be again a bit nicer place to live, and everybody wins.

Ok, it might not be the most ethical thing – but all we’re asking for is a bit of sacrifice to keep the rest of the world is happily sedated.

3. MOON

In Duncan Jones‘ Moon, everything is just fine. The world’s energy crisis has been solved: we’ve finally established a Helium-3 mining station on the Moon, so no oil or nuclear energy problems anymore!

Helium-3 is an extremely powerful source of energy which we don’t have too much on Earth, but Moon (supposedly) has quite a lot of it. And what’s even better, it only takes one guy to take care of the whole operation. It’s not like he’s going to start rebelling against Earth or anything, he’s pretty much stuck there – and even finding a replacement for him once things go wrong isn’t a problem, thanks to our friend, technology!

Again – it only takes a little bit of unselfish scarification. Come on, you can give that much to your community, right?

2. WALL-E

One thing we all hate is cleaning up the mess we make. Now, in the perfect future, there would be robots to do that for you, right? In the Wall-E future, we would get on a huge spaceship travelling away from Earth – and we’d had to do absolutely nothing in order to survive. Just sit down, chat with our mates and let the ship take care of every need we come up with.

And yeah, we’d be coming back to Earth one day, once the mess we made was cleaned up. And next time, we didn’t have to worry so much about things like environment etc. – the ship would stay there, so if everything would go to hell again, we could just jump onboard and come a back a few hundred years later!

1. IDIOCRACY

If ignorance is bliss – then Idiocracy is the ultimate utopia. In this future scenario, created by Mike Judge (of Beavis and Butt-Head fame) claiming aloud that your highest principles in life are sex and money is OK – actually, it’s considered as a damn philosophical statement! Ok, the world might be going to hell, and yeah, maybe watering your plantations with Gatorade is not the best idea out there – but hell, travelling in time there with your current brain capacity – which we both know is not much – you’d still be the combination between Einstein, Sun Tzu and Aristoteles.

Tags: Back to the Future, Idiocracy, Minority Report, Moon, The Truman Show, Vanilla Sky, Wall-e

This entry was posted on Monday, December 14th, 2009 at 23:21 and is filed under Top lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.