Archive for November, 2009

Zombie Sunday: Waste Your Money On The Dead!

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

zombiesunday2

Got too much money?! Yes, I know the feeling – nowhere to spend, but shitload of it at hands. Well, why not spend it on some cool Zombie stuff. This sunday the Zombies go shopping online – let’s see, what we found!

Everybody needs a calendar on the wall. In most cases it’s some ugly-ass paperscrap with boring pictures of nature – or even worse, Anne Geddes “funny” baby photos… Zombie Room suggests you to get something to enjoy – a Zombie Calendar! Empty Room Studios has one for you:

I’m always shocked on how utterly horrible the mobile phones – especially the ones made for iPhone – look like. I know that some of you wield an iPhone on your side. For those, Zombie Bikini Babes is probably the worst thing to spend your hard-earned money on. But they got Marina Orlova, the hottest babe on the Net – so maybe it is worth a dollar or two. Who knows.

Buying a shotgun for the Zombie Apocalypse preparations is not always easy. Here’s an experience snatched from Not Always Right:

(A customer in their 50s walks into my pawn shop, which sells weapons.)

Customer: “Yeah, can you get me that shotgun behind the table?”

Me: “Sure, do you have your license and registration?”

Customer: “Yeah, right here.”

Me: “Thank you sir. There’s a 5 day waiting period for firearms. Come back soon.”

(He looks disappointed, but forks over the cash and walks out. Five days later…)

Customer: “Okay, dude, I’m back. Where’s the gun?”

Me: “Right here, sir…

(I make the transaction and hand him his shotgun.)

Me: “Have a nice day and come back soon!”

(About one minute after the customer leaves the store, I hear several loud shotgun blasts. I look through the window and the man is firing rounds into the air! He then runs into the store.)

Customer: “The zombie invasion has begun! It’s every man for himself!”

(I hide under the desk and press the silent alarm. Five minutes later, the police arrive, taser the guy, and bring him out of our back room in cuffs. I work at an ice cream store now.)

The guy should probably check out the Guns ‘n Gardens How To Survive Zombie Apocalypse -show, so he would know what to do when he gets back from the jail – don’t go shooting around aimlessly, you have only this many bullets and there’s always more of Zombies, that’s for sure:

zombieapocalypse

District 9 vs. Surrogates – A Bad Case of Sci-fi Gone Wrong

Monday, November 16th, 2009

district9_vs_surrogates_01

I was watching Surrogates the other day and realized it had a lot of similarities with fellow sci-fi movie District 9. Both movies take on the subject of discrimination and prejudice, in sci-fi form of course, and the basic idea is more or less the same. In District 9 there are aliens, in Surrogates there are robots. But really, what really got me was that both movies had tremendous potential, but failed to deliver in the end. Yes, even District 9. And since I had nothing better to do, I decided to compare the two in a fight to the death!

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to our contenders. First in the red corner, newcomer District “Non Human” 9. And in the blue corner former heavyweight champion Surrogates “The Human Robot”. The fight is supervised by a referee (that’s me!) and will be engaged in during a series of one to three-minute rounds. Let’s get ready to rumble!

ROUND # 1

1. PROMOTION

PROMOTIONAL POSTERS

Surrogates marketing team didn’t put as much effort on the content as much as they did on putting Bruce Willis’s (although undeniably charismatic) face on the poster as big as possible (see the poster above). They could have been so much more creative considering the movie’s robolicious content. There were some cool ideas in the teaser posters, but nothing compared to District 9. One of the poster even looks more like a perfume add than a movie poster. District 9′s posters on the other hand are unique, intriguing and interesting. D-9 easily wins this first one.

district9_vs_surrogates_poster

WEBSITE

Both movies did a very good job with this one. District 9 has an amazing website where you can cruse around the alien reservation camps, watch the news and just basically live inside the world of the movie. I say A+ for effort! Surrogates site wasn’t half bad either. On their site, you could choose your own surrogate. It was actually very cool, but for some unexplainable reason that one interesting bit on the site doesn’t work anymore. I mean come on! Point missed!

district9_vs_surrogates_viral

TAGLINE

Neither taglines are really that awesome. The good thing about District 9′s tagline is that it doesn’t try to fit into the general standard of your basic tagline and it gives the movie a nice hostile mood. Non the less I decided to go with Surrogates because the tagline actually defines the movie quite perfectly. It’s honest and it’s what you get.

district9_vs_surrogates_tagline

FACEBOOK / TWITTER

It’s very important to have at least these two accounts when you are promoting your film. They are effective and on top of that, they are free. Only thing that costs is your time and effort. I mean, I really shouldn’t have to tell you this. Luckily both film have them. Although I had almost given up on Surrogates having a Twitter account, but just today I realized they actually had one after all (not a good sign, if you can’t even find it). No surprise District 9 wins this hands down. They have had a great marketing campaign over all (maybe the best of the whole year. I’m still deciding between D-9 and Paranormal Activity) and they put a lot of effort on the net. Surrogates did an ok job too, but instead of investing on a good story, they used millions upon millions on traditional marketing. Fail (see next bit to fully understand)! But in all fairness both movies had very good websites.

district9_vs_surrogates_facebook-twitter

BUDGET / GROSS

Since this is just statistics there is no room for opinion, so simply and clearly this goes to District 9. It would be quite interesting to know why a big Hollywood movie with a humongous marketing budget and all-star cast, grossed so little compared to a much cheaper debut film (low-budget in Hollywood) with no known actors. My humble guess is that District 9 was a better movie, but that’s just me…

district9_vs_surrogates_budget

Scores after round # 1:
District 9 = 4 points
Surrogates = 1 point

ROUND # 2

2. TRAILER

The trailer for District 9 is very close to being perfect. Especially this first teaser with the blurred alien faces. Too bad that the movie isn’t quite what the trailer promises. Surrogates is ok, it has it’s moments, but nothing that would distinguish it from all the other brainless Hollywood sci-fi out there.

Scores after round # 2:
District 9 = 5 points
Surrogates = 1 point (not looking too good…)

ROUND # 3

3. THE FILM

DIRECTOR

District 9 is director Neill Blomkamp’s debut feature and even if it wasn’t a total success, some mishaps can be forgiven from a first-timer. Especially from a new director who has true vision. But Surrogates (some what veteran) director Jonathan Mostow doesn’t have this luxury. But then again what more can you expect from the man who brought us Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines and U-571. Not much is what. D-9 wins again!

district9_vs_surrogates_director

CAST

Even though I really enjoyed Sharlto Copley in District 9, he is not a reason to go see a movie. Or at least he wasn’t before this role. Bruce Willis on the other hand is. Surrogates takes a point from this.

district9_vs_surrogates_cast

THE FILM

Of course non of the above mean anything if the film isn’t good. District 9 started out as one of the best films of the year, but half way trough the movie changed into an average scifi movie. Surrogates just was average at best from the beginning to the end. For the record, I know I’m being a bit hard on D-9, because I was expecting something extraordinary. I just wish the movie would have been more like the first half. Oh well…

There are also a lot of similarities, for example in both movies there are areas where the minority public are banned of going (“only humans allowed”), in both movies the protagonist’s personality changes completely opposite of what it used to be, etc. When you think about it, in many ways the plot and storytelling is quite similar. Look familiar?

humans_only

Scores after round # 3:
District 9 = 7 points
Surrogates = 2 points

THE CONCLUSION

KO! Well, obviously District 9 wins the fight. I know you might be thinking that this wasn’t a fair fight at all. You might think that District 9 was a so much better than Surrogates anyway. So why bother with this. But was it better? Yes of course it was. Was it amazing? HELL NO! It could have been, it most definitely SHOULD have been, but it just wasn’t. The first half of the movie kicked some serious ass, second half just sucked ass…

But just to be sure, let’s give Google fight to determine this once and for all.

Get ready… get set… FIGHT!

googlefight

Well there you have it. There is no denying of the word of the Google Gods…

VOD – Voyage of Despair 3/3

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

First, my apologies for late last part for those of you who were waiting for it early this week – had quite a hectic work week the both of us, and didn’t have time to finalize the text until now. But here we go! And to those new to what’s going on, this is the third part of the Video-On-Demand review – you can read the first part here, and the second part here.

future

If there’s one thing I learned from my last week’s Video-On-Demand test, it’s that the services available right now in Finland have high prices, limited selection and bad technology running them. Not a very good start for the big revolution – but you gotta start somewhere, right? As the last part of the research, we took a little look into the future to see, what’s out there for tomorrow, and how things should be working, in a perfect world.

Welcome to the last leg of the Voyage of Despair.

THE IDEAL SERVICE: INTRODUCING FILMIFY

The fictional service FILMIFY is a concept that’s been bouncing around my head for quite some time already. Basically, it’s a tar ball of frustration, where I stick all the things done wrong in current VOD markets, and try to make them right in my head. We even had an idea to set up a service like this some time ago, but backed out because we realized that the market is going to be flooded with very good competitors very soon, and we’re not enough startup maniacs to run through the hell to get it financed, armwrestle with the distributors and finally end up with a compromise of a service we’d not be happy with.

But here’s how I think the platform should work, and I’m sure one day a service will emerge that does everything exactly the right way. But until then, this is just a wet daydream.

THE WEBSITE

Filmify is simple. It brings together three main elements of film watching experience: wide variety of content, social experience and high quality. In short, it’s a combination between Internet Movie Database, YouTube and Spotify, connected tightly to Twitter and other social media services.

FINDING A FILM

Filmify offers the a vast chunk of data – often even meaningless to the everyday user – of every film, and makes it possible to search by every term the content. You can get a list of every film done by a specific cinematographer, or just go through the films that have won at Cannes Festivals. You can search films by keywords, by rating, or even by following individual user’s vote history. And if that’s not enough, it has a built-in suggest-a-film -system, where you need to type in an example film of the style you’re looking for, and it starts suggesting you films that are alike.

And just like with Spotify, Filmify has content. And it’s fresh, and the catalog is long. In the future, the distributors have abandoned the release restrictions because they’ve finally realized that they only fuel the piracy, so films are out simultaneously on all platforms and distribution options. So the films on Filmify are new, but the catalog goes long way back to the early years of filmmaking, making it a real goldmine for classic addicts. Thousands of titles are added on weekly basis.

PAYING FOR THE FILM

The business model is freemium: for free, you get to watch as much films as you like, but ever 20 minutes there’s a localized commercial break. “Hi, this is Jonathan from Filmify! I hope you’re enjoying the service as much as we do…” And with monthly fee of 19,99€, you get an unlimited access to all the goodies the service has to offer, free of ads of any type. Of course, if you would like to get a DVD with all the extras and shit, it’s possible – just right click, pay, and the film is on it’s way from Amazon.

All kind of transactions are made as easy as possible, and the service hosts payment options also for non-credit card holders.

WATCHING THE FILM

The quality is, of course, important. You are being served with the best possible quality available – HD by default, 5.1 sound, and a perfect streaming technology, just like with YouTube. And it’s damn easy to use, and you can even embed the films to your blog or your Facebook profile (the ad-ridden versions, of course).

THE SOCIAL SIDE OF THINGS

Filmify also realizes that film watching is getting more and more social experience. People like to rate films, talk about them online and let others know what they are watching. Hell, it even allows film viewers to throw online film watching party, with an intergrated simultaneous IRC-style channel-based chat, where you can watch all the Star Trek films for example, and comment them live to everyone. Included also is a tag mode, where you can tag stuff from the film, and a You Want To Know More -box – if activated – offering more information on things seen on screen – connected to an ever-growing Film Wiki full of trivia, info and tidbits.

SUMMARY

Filmify is a service every service should aim to become. Keep it simple, keep it social and keep it cheap enough, and the world is in the palm of your hand.

BUBBLING UNDER

But for now, Filmify doesn’t exist. Yet, there certainly is something happening. Zombie Room introduces two interesting services I’m going to be keeping a close eye on.

voddler

Voddler is – not surprisingly – from Sweden. They seem to have quite a good grasp in entertainment consuming, as proven by Pirate Bay and Spotify. Voddler wants to do what Spotify did for music – offer a “legal” solution for watching films online, that actually competes with the “illegal” ones.

Here’s their rap about the service:

“Voddler can provide unlimited video content distributed to any number of users by streaming. No limitation of content will enable you to have instant access to your old favorite movies as well as the newest blockbusters. But that is not enough for Voddler. Your entire movie experience is our main focus. Instant access, a user friendly video application and a complete network focused on film will make Voddler the obvious choice for a movie night. “

And here’s how it looks like:

The service is now in private beta, and invitations are highly valued. For the payment, Voddler has three alternative; one financed by advertising, one as a monthly subscription with unlimited access as well as a pay-per-view option.

I’m looking forward for Voddler. If someone has invites, and want to make a Zombie happy, all I can say is GIMME GIMME GIMME! My email is timo [at] ironsky [dot] net.

But in the meantime, there’s something quite interesting out there, too.

HDMT.NET

hdmt

Imagine a service with the latest films and TV-serieses available for streaming in the best possible HD quality, with just one click – and for free. Too good to be true? Well, let me tell you about HDMT.NET.

I don’t know almost anything about HDMT. It’s a service that popped to my Facebook this morning, and after that I’ve been in awe of it. Simple in Google way, the service lists heaps of fresh films and TV-serieses right on it’s front page, viewable by just one click. To quote someone commenting the link I shared: “What the hell..?”

The service isn’t too talkative of it’s origins, either. Apparently, it’s based in Netherlands – only thing I was able to dig out of it is this:

HDMT.net offers best-rated movies and TV shows streaming with similar HD quality. Hosted on professional streaming servers, streaming from HDMT.net are reliable and authentic. You can never worry about broken links.

The service is obviously on the gray area, and doesn’t comment the legal issues – the only thing they talk about is offering streaming services:

HDMT.net offers streaming service for all movie and tv shows fans around the world. All videos on HDMT.net source from Internet. We respect copyrights of producers and advocate all friends here to budget legitimate DVDs to support your favorite movies and tv shows and persons who make efforts on these products.

I haven’t been able to test the service out yet, since it’s being hammered by quite massive traffic at the moment. The site isn’t too attractive, and searching options are very limited, but the quality and the freshness of the selection is indeed impressive. We’ll see how long it lasts online before the copyright hound dogs tear it to pieces – or, maybe they have something in mind! Who knows, maybe it’s there for good. Let’s hope for the best!

Thanks for following Zombie Room’s Voyage of Despair. It seems that although right now we are knee deep in gob, there is actually light at the end of the tunnel. Remains to be seen wether it’s an exit to a better world, or a big corporate train heading this way full steam.

VOD – Voyage of Despair part 2/3

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

This is the second part of the Zombie Room’s look into the world of Video-On-Demand. You can read the first part here.

- – -

cdonlogo

THE WEBSITE

CDON.Com is a web store that operates in the Nordic countries. It’s owned by Modern Times Group, a company that created the Metro Newspaper, and specializes in entertainment – music, movies and consumer electronics.

The site has tucked the Video-On-Demand -service in the lower parts and shadier corners of the huge site, that’s hoping to serve every customer’s needs. Once you realize where it is, the basic functionality is quite simple. The site looks as clear as a web supermarket can – which means loads of ads blinking everywhere, and very little useful information anywhere.

cdonsite

FINDING A FILM

CDON.Com has a variety of films categorized under top lists, most viewed and by genre. Scanning the site we very quickly noticed that their Finnish language is horrible. Finding a film to watch is equally painful: from their mediocre selection of few hundred film – that’s basically a smaller (and much worse quality) selection than any video rental joint – we ended up picking Choke, a crappy drama based on Chuck Palahniuk‘s quite awesome text.

In general, webstores do have a problem with shelf space – in any store you register at least on some level hundreds and hundreds of products, but on webstore you either have to have something in mind already, or you are relying on what other people are watching – unless they have a very advanced search and recommendation system.

CDON hasn’t made the film search too easy: apart from first ~20 films in every category, they just offer a plain list of titles, and even the mouseover that reveals a small picture of the cover works very randomly.

Some kind of a film suggestion system would be preferrable, but with a selection of few hundred titles, making it useful is impossible.

PAYING FOR THE FILM

Once you have something in mind, it’s relatively easy to pay and play. Registration isn’t necessary, and it takes about 10 minutes until the film is on. Payment options are either Visa or Mastercard – so eveyone with no credit cards; sorry, no service to you, sub-humans.

The prices are the best of the whole test – from 0,95€ to 3,95€, which is acceptable (I think 2 bucks a stream is what I’m willing to pay – in a perfect world), and they even have a “free film of the month”. After the purchase, you can either download the film or stream it. However, they’ve added some stupid download manager which, of course, destroys your digital copy after 24 hours.

WATCHING THE FILM

Quality is fuzzy DV, and there’s no subtitles. But the film starts right after you’ve paid it, and the player works perfectly.

SUMMARY

A service which offers the lowest prices, but stumbles with quite a bad selection of aging semi-blockbusters for general audience.

Zombie Room review: 2,5/5

- – -

movie-tv

Movie-TV is the Internet-end of a small, Helsinki-based DVD-outlet called Keskus-Video, located at Eerikinkatu. The shop is a wonderful place, a small, labyrinth-like maze filled from wall to wall with DVDs – and the prices are very much right. It’s one of the places I avoid unless I have loads of money, since I end up spending a 50-100€ every time I just step on Eerikinkatu. Luckily, we live in Hakaniemi…

THE WEBSITE

Hats off to the developers of Movie-TV – they’ve boldly entered into a market that’s very soon going to be dominated by big-ass players, and only very few of the smaller ones will survive. I’m not sure what’s the business idea behind Movie-TV, but what I can gather from the site is that it’s basically a very comprehensive DVD shelf of a real movie nerd commune – it doesn’t have that many titles, but among them are some quite fascinating pearls: a wide collection of Haneke, loads of action films from the 80′s, nice amount of horror, and even kids’ animations and anime. Instead of trying to push aging, two-year-old semi-blockbusters, it’s selling me good films.

Technically, the site isn’t flawless – the design is a bit clunky and usability is lacking certain amount of intuition.

movietvsite

FINDING A FILM

At first, the site throws on my face a random collection of DVD covers. Too small to be of any use, but at least I get an idea of quite a colourful selection. The films are categorized under top lists and genres. We decided look scan around for a while, and ended up on I Heart Huckabees (no idea why, and I still regret the decision).

PAYING FOR THE FILM

Let’s start with the bad news – the pricing is absolutely mindless. They ask 6€/streaming, and there’s no possiblity for download – excuse me, what the hell? It took a while for us to convince that we’re willing to pay, but – reminding us of the test we were working on – we gave up and paid… But, really: please, think about it – what are you doing? You should be competing with Pirate Bay and Mininova, not with Sokos and Stockmann.

But then came the nice surprises: instead of the credit card requirements, you can decide to pay either with a card, directly from bank account, or even with an SMS or a phonecall. No registration is required, so they won’t be spamming me for the rest of my lifed just because I wanted to see a film.

WATCHING THE FILM

Once you’ve selected the film, it takes only 5 minutes before it’s is rolling – and there’s a possibility to choose whatever quality you like – even HD, if available. The film plays nicely and the quality is good – even subtitles are available.

SUMMARY

A small but devoted service with an interesting selection of ridiculously overpriced films.

Zombie Room Review: 3/5

- – -

film2home

Red-themed Film2home -service is owned by Bonver Videodata, a company that claims to be the single biggest home entertainment distributor in the Nordic countries. The service is available in Finland, Norway, Sweden and Denmark.

THE WEBSITE

Film2home is devoted to films and TV-serieses, and they begin serving you with two major disappointments: first, you need to use Internet Explorer for the service to work, and second – they have a whopping library of “almost 1000 films”. Now having 1000 films in your home shelf is quite a lot, but you’ve picked them yourself. For a service trying to serve thousands of customers on daily basis, 1000 titles is just not enough.

The site looks nice enough and it has big, clear and clickable buttons everywhere for the ease of use.

film2homesite

FINDING A FILM

The selection is limited, yet they’ve been able to drag some quite fresh films there, too. Well, fresh considering their DVD release schedule in Finland… The service is putting a lot of effort in offering enough interesting information about the titles, so you don’t have to go digging for IMDb – they even have a user rating system, which reminded me of how completely inexistent the social dimension in mostly all of the VOD services is.

The films have been categorised in quite an intuitive way – in addition to genres and top-lists, the titles can be searched by the name of actor and theme etc. This is important, and it’s completely unacceptable that services out there don’t put enough effort into good and clear categorizing and search methods – the only reason for that is that mostly they are lazy and don’t give a shit about the user experience.

PAYING FOR THE FILM

There are films you can only “rent”, and films you can “buy”, too – that means, of course, downloading. But basically, that’s what it does anyway, it’s just a minor difference in the tech on how it’s executed – but the pricing is just ridiculous. They expect me to pay 15-20 € for a digital download – it’s really one of the worst deals… I pay considerably less on mostly any DVD, and I get best quality, a physical copy, all the extras and so on…

Again, these services should be competing against Pirate Bay, not Stockmann.

Price range for download is around 4 euroes, you get something a bit cheaper and there’s even a free film for members (this month it’s Mission Impossible…). Payment methods include Visa and Mastercard.

WATCHING THE FILM

Now here comes the shit. First, we needed to change from Firefox to Internet Explorer, go through the painful setup process of a Microsoft products, before nd finally we were able to start viewing. Oh, no – we of course needed install Adobe Flash Player. That’s OK, only problem is that it refused to install – the reason was, eventually, because we were using 64bit Explorer, not the regular one. I almost gave up trying to figure this out, since there was no error messages or anything, it just didn’t work. It took almost 15 minutes from the moment we decided we wanted to see In the Electric Mist, before it was actually running.

Don’t know is this somehow Flash Player -related problem, or something to do with the service – but we weren’t able to pause the film without having to stop and start over again from the beginning (Buffering… attempting to reconnect… buffering… … …). Doesn’t sound a biggie, but remember that “pause” is the greatest feature of home cinema compared to theaters…

SUMMARY

A nice-looking service built on nearly unusable tech, with quite a small selection of films.

Zombie Room Review: 2/5

- – -

filmnet

Filmnet is a VOD service that operates in Finland, Sweden, Norway and Denmark. It’s “powered by Canal+”, which should promise plenty of interesting content available.

Well, not so much. They have exactly 133 titles in the library, which is basically not even a library – we have over 400 DVDs in our shelves. But there’s one we, the Zombies, like very much: they have Dead Snow!

THE WEBSITE

The site looks nice and sleazy in its glossy black suit, almost like an aging playboy in a bit shady nightclub, serving Mickeys for the girls.

filmnetsite

FINDING THE FILM

The films are categorized clearly under normal genre categories, and as a nice plus, they have a “recently watched” films in the front page – almost like RedTube!

But here’s an interesting question – during the last 5 days I’ve visited there, the recently watched films –box’s content hasn’t changed a bit. Makes you wonder if it’s either broken, or they have no users.

The site has striking resemblances in general look and feel to the free porn sites on the net – and they even have a 18+ section which has almost as many films as the non-porn site has!

PAYING FOR THE FILM

Payment options are limited, and the system gives a strange errors, trying obviously to hint the user to use Internet Explorer. The price for the films is expensive – 4,25€/film, regardless of how old the film you are watching. You also need to register in order to be able to pay, which is kinda stupid.

WATCHING THE FILM

But the nice thing is that the service is quite straightforward, and it took us only 4 minutes until the film was up and running. The quality is OK, the connection works quite well – only kinda embarrassing thing we noticed was that their subtitles didn’t support the Nordic characters – the “䔑s and “ö”‘s.

SUMMARY

A service that’s clear, fast to use and straightforward, but looks more like a porn site, has terribly bad selection of films (ok, they have Dead Snow, which is a big plus) and the pricing and the subtitles suck ass.

Zombie Room review: 1,5/5

- – -

sfanytime

My expectations for SFAnytime weren’t too high to start with, given the experiences of Jarmo Puskala from Energia. SFAnytime has been for quite a long time the biggest VOD-site in Finland, and they’ve been promoting heavily. And at the same time, it has been criticized the most.

THE WEBSITE

SFAnytime looks neat and clean, and you get very quickly a good idea on what the service is about. The impression of a professional VOD service crumbles quite fast though, when an unexplainable error message halts the process, and you are required to register – after which the service just crashes immediately.

sfanytimesite

FINDING THE FILM

The film catalogue is nice – not specifically new, but has some good films in it. We decided to pick Steve McQueen’s debut film Hunger, which turned out to be an excellent choise.

PAYING FOR THE FILM

Trying to pay for the film was, again, very cumbersome. The process begins with a strange DRM notice, after which you need to re-register. Visa and Mastercard are accepted as payment methods, and right after the payment, it comes apparent that Explorer is required as a browser. The price is 4€ – again, quite expensive, especially given the overall quality of the purchase process.

WATCHING THE FILM

The service gets stuck into “acquiring media usage rights” –message, and we’re able to continue watching after we had changed the browser. At this point, I’m almost willing to give up, but force myself to continue. The quality of the download needs to be chosen from a very complicated and badly advised menu. It takes total of 10 minutes to get the film rolling. Luckily, Hunger is the best film we’ve watched during the test, so my pain is alleviated.

SUMMARY

A service that has been around for quite some time, and just fails to fix its basic problems, but it still remains to be the first place to go because they’ve managed to establish themselves in Finland as the definitive VOD service, thanks to big promotion and marketing.

Zombie Room Review: 1,5/5

- – -

theauteurs

We had already almost given up hope for a decent service by the time we finished watching the film from SFAnytime, but then our friend Eric Vogel tipped us about The Auteurs, a fresh VOD service we had never heard of.

THE WEBSITE

The Auteurs is a VOD service unlike anything we had encountered ever before. Right from the beginning, it’s apparent that this is something different: the website looks much more like a social network site than a VOD service, it’s clear, simple and focuses more on content than shiny skin – and it makes me feel like it’s made by people who actually have a respect for great films.

The experience starts with a beautifully simple Facebook Connect login. After that, you end up into a site that promotes loads of great films in very informative and detailed way, with big pictures and clear links.

The site makes watching films online a social experience, where you share your reviews, your wishlist and films you watch with other people – and it’s very tightly connected with Facebook and Twitter. You can create your own profile, they have a forum for discussions, and everything you do and see is easilly shareable.

auteurssite

FINDING THE FILM

Unlike most of the other services, The Auteurs has really done a great job in presenting, suggesting and categorising films. And what films they have! No bullshit, only good films by great filmmakers. Masters of cinema like Kubrick, Lynch, Fellini and Svankmajer populate the amazingly international and high-quality film listings.

The problem is that most of the films they have on the site are not available for viewing, at least not now. The site makes it clear that it’s still in Beta, so most of the issues are acceptable – they are working on it, and doing a great job. But you can very easilly just sort the films available for viewing in your area, and although the catalog is not huge yet, you get an impression that somebody has really been working on it.

And the categorization of films is highly advanced – the site has wonderful lists like Festivals, where they’ve listed all of the films in competition on every major festival, beginning from early 30′s.

Each title is described in great detail, and you can view what others have thought of it. For us, unlike in other services, it was a problem to decide which film to watch out of the great selection, and we settled down eventually with Primer.

PAYING FOR THE FILM

The first real issue is the price. At least that’s what I thought first, but then I realized that hell, it’s really not the price I’m paying, but the experience and the extra I get with it. Each feature film costs 5€, and short films 2€ – there’s even some free films available. And even better, you have a possibility for a monthly subscription – with 18€/month you get an unlimited access to the ever-growing selection of the site’s films, and with 10€ you get to watch 4 films/month.

This is almost too good to be true.

WATCHING THE FILM

And as I suspected, it is too good. With the following comments, please be aware that the site is still in beta, so there are problems and beta users need to bear with it. And I’m also not sure why watching the film sucked, and if it has anything to do with the site itself, but it did. And we tested it out with two different computers.

The film twitches a bit. It’s an amazingly annoying feature, and I’m not 100% sure if it’s a problem with every film (we, obviously, tested out just one), but watching Primer was really painful. Bad quality can be forgiven – and the quality at Auteurs is very good – but skipping and twitching can’t. The film was nearly unwatchable, and I felt very bad about it, even more since the site was tuned exactly the way I want a VOD site to be, and they’ve even say: “P.S.—By the way, we’ve worked hard on the quality of the streaming and we are very proud of it… just wanted to let you know…”

I don’t know what was wrong with it, but it sucked big time.

EDIT: As Eric wrote in comments: “Sad to hear about stuttering/streaming problems with The Auteurs. I’ve watched two films there with none of these issues.”

Another big, annoying minus for the viewing experience was the forced subtitles – in Swedish. Watching Primer, which is quite a mindfuck of a film in itself, that’s twitching every now and then, and subtitled in Swedish was well… not very pleasant. Not worth 5€.

Having said that, the great thing is that viewing is possible with every operating system and every browser out there, and it’s really fast and easy – took us about 3 minutes to get the film rolling, fastest of the whole test.

SUMMARY

A great service and social network that’s suffering from some beta problems, but still manages to rise above all the others. Give it another 6 months, and this thing is going to become the definitive VOD service for film geeks, serving films that won’t be available even on Torrent sites.

Zombie Room Review: 3,5/5 (Note: still in Beta!)

- – -

That’s it for now. Come back tomorrow, when I try to sum up our experiences and introduce you my Ideal VOD Service – how it should be done.

Zombie Sunday – Beauty and Braaaaains

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

zombiesunday2

Since it’s Father’s Day today I though I would do something for all you daddies out there. So, let’s have look at the sexier side of the undead, because who says zombies can’t be sexy too? Is beauty and brains a combination you are looking for in a woman? If so, read on…

If you are looking for next years calender, here’s a hot tip. I found this calender from My Zombie Pinup. These girls might be brain dead, but they are still drop dead gorgeous!

Say hello to Miss February…

ZR February 2010

… Miss June…

ZR June 2010

… Miss July…

ZR July 2010

… Miss September…

ZR September 2010

… and last but not least, Miss December.

ZR December 2010

To see all the moths and buy this 2010 calender, go to My Zombie Pinup.

As you can see, not all zombies are ugly, even hot, beautiful girls can be attacked by zombies. For the most beautiful ones there are of course Zombie Beauty Pageants…

One of these Zombie Beauty Contests are held annually at the Phoenix ComiCon. The winner of the 2009 Zombie Beauty Pageant was…

zombie_beauty_winner

… was the lovely Heather.

Well maybe not. But if you don’t care for pageants and you are looking for something wilder, there is always stripping…

The Zombies wish Happy Father’s Day to all you daddies, and have a great week!

VOD – Voyage Of Despair – Part 1/3

Saturday, November 7th, 2009

Let’s state the obvious first:

The world is changing rapidly. Watching films online, or whatever you want to call it – VOD, legal downloading or online video rental – is going to be the main distribution method for films in the future. But this time the competition is not about shelf space, since a much bigger competitor has appeared to benchmark the results: Pirate Bay.

Pirate Bay is offering films for free, with the highest quality and with the best selection available. Its business is being labeled as being “illegal”, but really – it’s just the way things work today. If a video-on-demand service wishes to become the next Google – or YouTube, or Spotify – of film distribution, they need to start offering a better service than Pirate Bay, and adjust their business model to the world of today, not the one that existed in the 80s.

The Zombies wanted to take a look at what’s going on right now on that front – what are the services and what kind of competition they put up against Pirate Bay and other torrent sites? We did our best to dig out all of the publicly available VOD services in Finland, tried to watch a film via the platform, and scribed down the experiences.

Join the Zombies for the desperate voyage into the world of Video On Demand.

THE SERVICES

Googling and asking around the Twitter about VOD services, we came up with the following list. Note, that we ruled out all of the services that require you to be a customer of some specific third entity, like an operator (Elisa, Sonera, Welho etc.), because they are not even trying to do things right, and either die a slow and painful death, or become public eventually.

Here’s the list. Hope we aren’t missing anything:

cdonlogo

movie-tv

film2home

filmnet

sfanytime

theauteurs

DOING THE REVIEW

Here’s how I expect a good service to work:

Go in, pick a film, pay for it and watch.

There’s even a better way to do it:

Pay a monthly fee for a service, watch as much as you want from an ever-growing selection.

But that isn’t happening, at least not here in Finland, and not just yet. I heard Netflix is coming, and I’m really looking forward to it.

When working on the review, we tried to act as normal consumers – and that’s what we are. We don’t have any fancy equipment, and we suck at computers. Here’s our setup:

* An old-ass Philips TV-set, one of the big and clunky ones.
* A S-VHS-cable from my laptop to SCART (so the quality sucks, but it’s not the reason of the services, but we judge the quality by how it looks on our computer screens…)
* An HP laptop (Compaq nw8440) with Windows XP operating system.
* Firefox as our main browser, and Explorer if absolutely necessary.
* A decent sound setup (5.1 surround)
* 10mb Net connection.

setup

So that’s how we roll. Come back tomorrow for the results, and day after that for some conclusions.

Night Visions Diary # 5: Over and Out

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

Halloween is now over and so is Night Visions Maximum Halloween 3009. Hands down this was the best and most successful Night Visions in the history of the festival. This once again proves that people want to see all kinds of movies and they are willing to make the effort to go see them, even in the middle of the night.

Dod_Sno_01_small

The Zombies had a great time at the festival and here’s a little recap of what went on. The opening night was probably the most memorable for us, because we organized a Dead Snow Zombie Walk, with the help of Zombiewalk Helsinki, to take place before the screening of our favorite Nazi-zombie movie ever, Dead Snow. Although not too many zombies showed up, the ones that did were an awesome group of people. The screenwriter and actor, Stig Frode Henriksen, presented Dead Snow and also judged the zombie costume competition which Timo won! The opening night continued with the 25th anniversary of the amazing Finnish classic Yön Saalistajat. Matti “Reuna” Mäntylä was also present at the screening.

Read the full article about the screening of Dead Snow and Yön Saalistajat here.

On friday I went to see The Crispin Glover Experience! This was definitely the high point of the festival for me. Too bad if you missed it, because these kind of rare opportunities don’t come too often. But I do advice everyone to go see Glover’s show, if he ever comes to your town. I guarantee it will be a night to remember. We were also lucky to have lunch with mr. Glover the day before.

Read about our lunch with Crispin Glover here and the full article about The Cripsin Glover Experience here.

it_is_fine

Night Visions had an amazing selection of films this year. The ones I was really looking forward of seeing were Richard Kelly’s new movie The Box and John Hillcoat’s depressing post-apocalyptic film The Road. I really enjoyed both of the films and I highly recommend them to everyone. Luckily both films can be seen in Finnish theaters later this year.

Read my review of The Box here.

We had a blast at the festival and we will be eagerly anticipating next Night Visions and a another set of great movies.

We would once more like to thank Liisa Lehmusto, Mikko Aromaa and Kalle Kinnunen, and all the crew behind Night Visions. We are looking forward to continue our collaboration with upcoming festivals. Also a special thanks to our zombie expert Janne Tourunen for helping us with the Zombie Walk.

Until next time, Zombie’s are over and out.

Zombie Room Review: The Box (2009)

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

ZombieRoom_Review_TheBox

When I went to see The Box, I have to admit, I was sort of fearing the worst. Not because I don’t like director Richard Kelly, but because I actually do. I’m one of those people who refuses to believe that Donnie Darko was an accident or a fluke. I also think Kelly is a very interesting film maker and his way of expressing himself is so different from everybody elses, that sometimes people just can’t understand his vision. For example with Southland Tales, which I just didn’t get at all. But even with that film, you have to recognize the originality and thought provoking aspect of the movie.

The Box is set in Richmond, Virginia, in 1976. It tells a story of a family (Cameron Diaz and James Marsden) who are struggling with financial problems. One night they receive a box that has a red button. The next day they get a visit from a mysterious, disfigured man (Frank Langella). The man presents them with an unusual offer. If they push the button, two things will happen; somebody somewhere in the world, who they don’t know will die and second, they will receive a payment of $1,000,000. This sets in motion a set of events that will change their lives forever.

THE_BOX_3_medium

I was immediately intrigued with the idea of the premise. Movies that ask questions and/or offer moral dilemmas to the audience have always appealed to me. But even though I liked the story, the script was a bit messy. It almost felt like Kelly had too many ideas, even if they were good ones. Still his ideas are interesting, extremely bold and challenging, and I truly admire him for that.

I also had a problem with the main cast. Cameron Diaz’s southern accent just wasn’t believable at all and James Marsden is no astronaut, I can tell you that. I’m sure these two will fill the seats in the movie theatre, but I just didn’t buy it. There are problems in the acting through out the movie and it’s hard to say if it’s deliberate or not, but quite often the dialogue felt unreal and even fake sometimes. Frank Langella on the other hand, was very creepy and frightening, and more or less ended up carrying the whole movie.

The Box is director Richard Kelly’s third feature film and it doesn’t have the smart storytelling of Donnie Darko, but it is definitely a huge leap from Southland Tales. Because of it’s originality, suspenseful story and interesting mood, even with its flaws, I really enjoyed movie. But it is absolutely certain that The Box is not for everyone. There will be people who will passionately hate it, but also people who will just as strongly love it. Well, you can think what you like, but I say The Box is still a hundred times more interesting than the regular predictable bullshit that is usually pushed from Hollywood. At least Richard Kelly has his own point of view, even if people don’t always get him.

Well, perhaps I am a little biased, because of my hunger for new ideas, to let problem such as in The Box slide. But the point of the matter is that I was entertained and remained interested trough the whole movie. I think Richard Kelly has huge potential and even if he still has some soul searching to do to make his storytelling as perfect as it was in Donnie Darko, I’m convinced his debut film won’t be his last masterpiece.

Zombie Sunday …of the DEAD!

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

zombiesunday2


With those glasses, you would see dead people everywhere, too.

There’s only one real thing to do on Halloween, and that is to talk about the master of all Zombie horror – George A. Romero.

Romero is the guy who set in motion the whole Zombie film genre. Yes, there had been zombie films before his Night of the Living Dead (1968), but it was Night of the Living Dead, and the two films that followed – Dawn of the Dead (1978) and Day of the Dead (1985) – that basically set the rules for one of the coolest genres in film history.

If, for some reason, you’ve managed to have missed Night of the Living Dead, or want to see it again, you can watch it for free online – the film is in the public domain, thanks to the original distributor’s failure to include copyright marks on the film prints. As such, you can download and watch the film for free at the Internet Archive (thanks to Mashable for the tip!).

notld

After the “Trilogy of the Dead”, Romero hasn’t been producing anything noteworthy to the screens, unfortunately. He has continued his trilogy – films that end with the words “…Of the Dead”, but so far – both Land of the Dead (2005) and Diary of the Dead (2007) – were quite lazy, especially compared to “modern” zombie films out there nowadays, like 28 Days and Weeks Later.

Survival of the Dead (2009)
is the latest incarnation in the long line of “…of the Deads”, and the reviews have been surprisingly positive compared to two earlier films. The synopsis says: “On an island off the coast of North America, local residents simultaneously fight a zombie epidemic while hoping for a cure to return their un-dead relatives back to their human state.”

The new promo teaser does promise a lot of blood and gore, but I’m not convinced. But I’m gonna see it anyway, once it lands here in Finland (undoubtedly, on DVD).

Oh, and here’s a fun diagram for you I found on the Internet the other day:

VennDiagram_jesus

Aight, happy Halloween to all, and stay tuned for Essi’s review on The Box, comin’ right up!

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