It´s a dog day afternoon here at Zombie Room and this weekend is all the man’s best friend. Yesterday I started this topic by telling you how I felt about dog-movies, but I feel like I didn´t get my point across completely. So I decided to make this crystal clear and list The Top 10 Worst Dog Movies Ever! It’s gonna be a dog-eat-dog competition…
Ok, let´s get started!
10. Legally Blonde
I know, not technically a movie about a dog, but I feel it is a good example on just how twisted this genre is, plus the main character dresses her dog up in matching outfits as herself!!! This movie basically encourages people to to be blonde (and I´m not talking about hair color)! Of course in this movie the dumb blonde is actually smart, and I guess the message is that even if you are stupid (but beautiful) you can still get ahead in life. This movie definitely gets an A in being stupid!

Ok, this is just too cute. The tagline is “heel the love”. What does that even mean? Apparently the main characters learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog. Ok, when people start taking advice from a dog, where are in trouble. That´s so messed up, I can´t even get into it…
8. Cats & Dogs
In this movie there is a top-secret, high-tech espionage war going on between cats and dogs, which their human owners are blissfully unaware of. Ok what???!!!!
7. Chilly Dogs (aka Kevin of the North)
To be quite honest, I don´t know anything about this movie, but that poster makes me crazy!!! Here is the plot I got from imdb.com: “a man must participate in the Iditarod dog race across Alaska to inherit property from his legendary grandfather, but ends up getting much more than he bargained for”. That´s just priceless.
6. Air Bud
Yeah you guessed it, there is in deed a dog that plays basketball and apparently he is amazingly gifted too. That alone is enough to make my head explode. But if that wasn´t enough just check out this tagline: “He Sits. He Stays. He Shoots. He Scores”. I think the only thing it should say is HE FAILS!!!
This is a re-make of the 1961 classic of the same name. The story is the same, but instead of having animated characters, they have humans and real dogs. That is just not ok in my book. By the way did you know that this is the most successful dog movie ever? It has grossed over 320 million dollars worldwide. I don´t even know what to say to that.
4. Eight Below
Eight Below is a survival story and it´s based on true events. Well I guess my biggest problem with this movie is that it is actually meant to be taken seriously. Oh come on, give me a break!
3. Snow Dogs
So what´s different about this film compared to Eight Below? Hmmm… NOTHING!!! It´s at 3th place solely because this poster annoys me a tad bit more. Ok and because in the movie the dogs actually sunbath. Oh yes, not making that up. And by the way, what does “get Ready for mush hour” even mean?
It tells a story about these two orphans who take in stray dogs at an empty house. I know that doesn´t sound that bad. The thing that really gets to me, are the god awful things they do to those dogs in the hotel. I mean they get massages, wear cucumbers in their eyes and they even have their own bathroom (I´m not kidding). On top of that all the stray dogs in the movie are adorable and cute, when have you last seen a cute stray dog? And finally just look at those dead beady eyes on those (photoshopped) dogs in the poster, they look like they are on speed. I rest my case!
And finally the numero uno! Beverly Hills Chihuahua is what started my wrath against dog movies in the first place. I mean it has singing and dancing chihuahuas, that dress up in stupid looking costumes and play instruments etc. It is also clearly stated in the trailer that chihuahuas are pets of the rich and famous. So the whole movies is basically adoring Paris Hilton and her life style. Is this really the image we want to project to the world? I feel sick (and a little bit sad) even thinking about it!
So there you have it, my Top 10 Worst Dog Movies Ever. Hope you have enjoyed it more than I did making it.
- Essi
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