Archive for February, 2009

The Top 10 Worst Dog Movies Ever!

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

It´s a dog day afternoon here at Zombie Room and this weekend is all the man’s best friend. Yesterday I started this topic by telling you how I felt about dog-movies, but I feel like I didn´t get my point across completely. So I decided to make this crystal clear and list The Top 10 Worst Dog Movies Ever! It’s gonna be a dog-eat-dog competition…

Ok, let´s get started!

legally_blonde10. Legally Blonde

I know, not technically a movie about a dog, but I feel it is a good example on just how twisted this genre is, plus the main character dresses her dog up in matching outfits as herself!!! This movie basically encourages people to to be blonde (and I´m not talking about hair color)! Of course in this movie the dumb blonde is actually smart, and I guess the message is that even if you are stupid (but beautiful) you can still get ahead in life. This movie definitely gets an A in being stupid!

 

 

marley_and_me_ver2

9. Marley and Me

Ok, this is just too cute. The tagline is “heel the love”. What does that even mean? Apparently the main characters learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog. Ok, when people start taking advice from a dog, where are in trouble. That´s so messed up, I can´t even get into it…

 

 

 

 

 

cats_and_dogs_ver38. Cats & Dogs

In this movie there is a top-secret, high-tech espionage war going on between cats and dogs, which their human owners are blissfully unaware of. Ok what???!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chillydogs7. Chilly Dogs (aka Kevin of the North)

To be quite honest, I don´t know anything about this movie, but that poster makes me crazy!!! Here is the plot I got from imdb.com: “a man must participate in the Iditarod dog race across Alaska to inherit property from his legendary grandfather, but ends up getting much more than he bargained for”. That´s just priceless.

 

 

 

 

air_bud6. Air Bud

Yeah you guessed it, there is in deed a dog that plays basketball and apparently he is amazingly gifted too. That alone is enough to make my head explode. But if that wasn´t enough just check out this tagline: “He Sits. He Stays. He Shoots. He Scores”. I think the only thing it should say is HE FAILS!!!

 

 

 

 

 

one_hundred_and_one_dalmatians_ver25. 101 Dalmatians (1996)

This is a re-make of the 1961 classic of the same name. The story is the same, but instead of having animated characters, they have humans and real dogs. That is just not ok in my book. By the way did you know that this is the most successful dog movie ever? It has grossed over 320 million dollars worldwide. I don´t even know what to say to that.

 

 

 


eight_below4. Eight Below

Eight Below is a survival story and it´s based on true events. Well I guess my biggest problem with this movie is that it is actually meant to be taken seriously. Oh come on, give me a break!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

snow_dogs3. Snow Dogs

So what´s different about this film compared to Eight Below? Hmmm… NOTHING!!! It´s at 3th place solely because this poster annoys me a tad bit more. Ok and because in the movie the dogs actually sunbath. Oh yes, not making that up. And by the way, what does “get Ready for mush hour” even mean?

 

 

 

 

 

hotel-for-dogs-poster22. Hotel for Dogs

It tells a story about these two orphans who take in stray dogs at an empty house. I know that doesn´t sound that bad. The thing that really gets to me, are the god awful things they do to those dogs in the hotel. I mean they get massages, wear cucumbers in their eyes and they even have their own bathroom (I´m not kidding). On top of that all the stray dogs in the movie are adorable and cute, when have you last seen a cute stray dog? And finally just look at those dead beady eyes on those (photoshopped) dogs in the poster, they look like they are on speed. I rest my case!

beverly_hills_chihuahua1. Beverly Hills Chihuahua

And finally the numero uno! Beverly Hills Chihuahua is what started my wrath against dog movies in the first place. I mean it has singing and dancing chihuahuas, that dress up in stupid looking costumes and play instruments etc. It is also clearly stated  in the trailer that chihuahuas are pets of the rich and famous. So the whole movies is basically adoring Paris Hilton and her life style. Is this really the image we want to project to the world? I feel sick (and a little bit sad) even thinking about it! 

 


So there you have it, my Top 10 Worst Dog Movies Ever. Hope you have enjoyed it more than I did making it. 

- Essi

Who Let the Dogs Out?

Friday, February 27th, 2009

beverlyhillschihuahua_youwantsomeof-this

 

I felt compelled to speak my mind about a phenomenon that is occurring in Hollywood these days. I don´t know if you have noticed, but it seems like every week there is a new movie coming out about DOGS! This might seem relatively harmless, but not only are there tons of movies about the man´s best friend, but on top of that they are making millions upon millions at the box office all over the world. Well what´s wrong with that, you might ask. Let me explain.

First of all, here are some statistics to give you a better clue of just how bad the situation really is. For example the infamous Beverly Hills Chihuahua made almost 30 million dollars on the opening weekend in USA alone. It has now grossed just under 100 million dollars and I´m not even counting international sales. Marley & Me was also barking up the right tree, because it passed the 100-million dollar mark in only 11 days. It has now grossed over 164 million and counting. And by the way, this makes it the second best selling dog-movie ever (the best selling movie was Scooby-Doo with 275 million dollars worldwide). 

marleyme_small

Marley & Me

Movies about our canine companion is a smash hit, so of course studios are going to wanna make them! But how did we get here? Clearly this isn´t the first time we have had movies about dogs; who could forget Beethoven (all 6 of them!!!), Turner & Hooch and of course Lassie Come Home, the list goes on and on…

But something did spark the dog frenzy again. My theory is, that the person responsible for all these so-called qute doggy-movies is Paris Hilton and her dog Tinkerbell (probably the most famous dog in the world after Lassie). Yeah, that dog even wrote a book, The Tinkerbell Hilton Diaries: My Life Tailing Paris Hilton (OMFG!!!). Now that´s some scary shit! Everyone of course has different taste and a right to their own opinion, but if the opinion is based on looking up to Paris Hilton, then we are royally screwed!

bev-hills-chi-1000x0400x551

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just sometimes have to wonder what is wrong with the world, people don´t seem to care about important issues anymore. Instead they want to spend two hours in a theater watching dogs do silly things, only to return home to their own dog, dressing it up in cute costumes and putting it in their bag. What´s that about!?

I have a real problem with this and I think the movie industry is in real trouble. It is still a business and it is a question of the publics demand, so the movies are being made what most of the people want to see. I can only assume that it will get worse and worse by time. So I´m going to be a consumer activist and start a boycott against movies about dogs. You know the ones I mean, and here is one of them:

OH HELL NO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh hell no!!!

(No animals were harmed in the making of this blog…)

- Essi

 

The Truth is out there, in Berlin.

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

Let me take you back in time few weeks, to Berlin Film Festival, and treat you with a small video we did for Iron Sky, the film I’m currently working on. The video is mainly about our paperboy, and an interesting marketing trick we did for for the film. It’s called “Iron Sky Signal“, and it’s fourth part in our “almost-monthly” report on Iron Sky.

Enjoy!

Remember when…

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

remember

Mike Patton to do Crank: High Voltage

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

I’m not a huge fan of Jason Statham, although he does his Bruce Willis -maneuvers quite well. I haven’t seen any of the endless Transporter-films, and Crank -series and it’s most recent installment Crank: High Voltage here is a complete stranger for me. The reason that made the film interesting for me is written in the topic: Mike Patton. Who’s he? Well, he’s the guy behind such bands as Faith No More, Mr. Bungle and Fantômas – an awesome and totally fucked-up musician who has one of the most distinguishable vocal skills, and a mighty pop pen he likes to stick deep into metal, industrial and rap and come up with something completely out of this world. And he’s going to do the score for Crank: High Voltage.

The film seems to be about Jason Statham getting beaten up. The twist to it is that he (supposedly) died in the previous episode, but as the tagline says: “He was dead…But he got better.” Somebody for some reason installs an electronic heart to his chest, placing him back into action, beating the bad guys and goggling hot chicks in LA. In order to keep the heart running, he needs to jolt his body every now and then with electricity. At this point, mr. Realism had already left the building, but nobody was missing him anway. The trailer looks quite stupid, but for some reason I had a great time watching it (although I suppose it doesn’t have Patton’s music yet).

So -  a mindless American 20-million action flick that doesn’t pretend to be anything else, with the score by Mike Patton. Sold.

(Btw. You can turn off the annotions from YouTube videos by clicking the little arrow up in the down right hand corner of the YouTube video, and clicking the red annotions button. Progress.)


Oh looky here, they are working on the film here! Woo!

Do you know how I got these (O)scars?

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

joker-pic-1

The results are in and as suspected Heath Ledger won his Oscar for best supporting role. Also another sure winner was Kate Winslet, congratulation to both!

Slumdog Millionaire totally took down the house by winning in almost every category it was nominated in, including Best Picture. Unfortunately I still haven´t seen it, because movies are being distributed here in Finland long after their original release. The only way to see all of the Oscar movies would be to download the from the internet ‘illegally’… Well I still love the movie theater too much to do that, but can´t say I wouldn’t be tempted to…

There were just few surprises for me at the Oscars this year, one of them being Sean Penn winning best performance by an actor in a leading role. I was really rooting for Mickey Rourke, because he did an extraordinary performance in The Wrestler. It is still impossible to be disappointed, because Sean Penn was absolutely amazing portraying Harvey Milk in Milk. So he definitely deserved his golden statue. Milk also won original screenplay, which was great because of what it represents, but in my opinion it wasn´t the best script of the year. But again I can´t be too upset, because I thought it was definitely Oscar worthy, so congratulations to Dustin Lance Black.

The thing that actually really got to me was the award for best foreign language film. I was dead sure that the winner would have been Waltz with Bashir. I´m still in a state shock about this one. The second runner up for me was The Class, that did win at Cannes last year. So I would have settled for that, but no… Well I guess I shouldn´t judge since I haven´t actually seen Departures, that was the Oscar winner last night.

All and all I´m quite happy about the way things went, my only problem was that The Wrestler should have gotten a best picture nomination and since that was my favorite film, and it wasn´t nominated, the competition didn´t feel as exciting that it has some past years.

But the real competition that really matters is the one me and Timo had against each other – the epic battle of who can guess more Oscars correctly. And the Oscar (WIN) goes to…

essiwins

Timo came over to Helsinki with a nightbus, arriving 04:00 at my place, and we stayed up all night, watching the Oscars, tweeting and IRCing – so actively that we seem to have lost two followers :)

So until next year!

Essi

Zombies tweeting the Oscars live!

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

The Oscars are only a few hours away. Me and Timo will be up all night commenting on the gala. You can follow us on Twitter (@ZombieRoom) or even better, our LIVE Twitter feed from  http://blog.starwreck.com/ where you can also follow commentary by our good friends Jarmo and Laku from Energia (@Energia).

Essi & Timo

Countdown to the Oscars: Today is the day!!!

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

whyso

It is time for the ZOMBIE ROOM OSCAR BALLOT 2009!!!

Here are our bets for the winners. Click the ballot papers to view them bigger.

ESSI’S OSCAR BALLOT

essi1

TIMO’S OSCAR BALLOT

timo1

We will have the results tomorrow!

(Ps. click the pictures to see ‘em bigger.)

And like I promised me and Timo will be tweeting all night, you can follow us at http://twitter.com/ZombieRoom

If you are on IRCNet, join us at #oscarvalvojaiset!

- Essi

Inglourious Basterds vs. Dead Snow – The Ultimate Showdown!

Saturday, February 21st, 2009

Zombie Room brings you the most anticipated fight of the year – the Nazi Massacre Championships 2009! This year, competing for this whopping prize are two directors: “Quentin Tarantino of Norway”, Tommy Wirkola, and “Quentin Tarantino of USA”, Quentin Tarantino himself!

Both of these heavyweight champions have placed their latest films in to the ring: in the icy blue corner, from Tommy Wirkola, we have Dead Snow, a Norwegian Nazi Zombie comedy – and in the red hot corner, we have Tarantino’s upcoming Inglorious Basterds, a WWII War Comedy! It’s going to be a bloody fight, so hold on tight!

Before we hit the cong, let’s have a quick look at rules. The fight is divided in three parts: Promotion, Trailer and the Film. Each section has 3 categories on where the fight takes place, and the winner of each category gets one point. In the end, the film that has more points, wins three free Internets!

And now… get ready…

FIGHT!

1. PROMOTION

PROMOTIONAL POSTERS

Both of these films have really pushed for the promotional posters, knowing the fact that a picture is the easiest media to travel the Internet. Both promotional poster campaigns are surprisingly similar, focusing much more to striking images than the faces of the actors. A good decision, I would say! It’s also good to notice that Dead Snow‘s teaser posters popped to the Internet almost over a year ago, so it actually might be that Inglorious Basterd‘s poster artists have ripped been inspired by them! Here’s a comparative chart of the posters – enjoy!

(Ps. Sorry for the fucked-up aspect ratio, WordPress seems to do something and I have no idea how to fix it…)

promotional-posters

TAGLINE

When creating a tagline for a film, it’s important to keep it short, keep it clear, make it fit the tone of the film and if possible, have a little twist to it. Let’s see what the contestants have to offer:

tagline

FACEBOOK FANS

Determining the Internet Love for a film is quite hard, so let’s just stick to Facebook fans. That’s the most scientific method anyway…

fans

So far, looking good for the cod-eaters! Norway’s Nazi Zombies leading 2-1. But next, let’s go to the more relevant stuff – the trailer!

2. TRAILER

This it how it really starts – it’s always up to the trailer to really attract the attention of the audience. In this category, I give 0-3 points for a trailer, added with a short description on why I ended to this decision. Take it away, boyz!

And the results are:

DEAD SNOW – Teens, chainsaw, nazi zombies, red blood on pure white snow, motorsleds, Bach… 2/3!

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS – Brad Pitt doing Brad Pitt, kewl graphix, Hitler going nuts… 1/3

So far, the land of Black Metal and disconcertingly expensive beer is holding steadily to the pole position: 4-2 for Dead Snow!

3. THE FILM

But in the end, it all comes down to the film itself. No good marketing campaign could ever save a bad film from failing miserably. Dead Snow is already out but Inglorious Basterds isn’t, so we can’t really compare these two, now can we?

DIRECTOR
Ok, now this is not a fair fight. Quentin Tarantino started his career with Reservoir Dogs, continued with Pulp Fiction and following it’s success with films like Kill Bill 1 & 2, and the rest is history. So far, Tommy only has two films – Kill Buljo, a Norwegian Kill Bill -parody, and – of course – Dead Snow. So, no offense to anybody, but as for now, this point goes over to Mr Tarantino.

director

CAST

Another quite unfair fight – on the other side, we have a no-name never-heard cast from Norway, speaking Norwegian, and on the other side, an all-star cast featuring Brad Pitt, Maggie Cheung, Samuel L. Jackson, Til Schweiger and Mike Myers, to mention few… Having said this, I think the Norwegians do a great, great job in the film, so no complaints there…

actors

THE FILM

As said, it’s quite hard to compare two films by their qualities as complete films, because the other isn’t out yet. But, let’s just say that in Tarantino’s film we have a bunch of Jews killing Nazis in French, and the other is ABOUT NAZI ZOMBIES KILLING TEENS IN THE FJORDS! The competition is over, this point goes over to Dead Snow. End of discussion.

THE CONCLUSION

This has been quite a bloody battle, but looking at the points given by the highly respected jury – that being me, and only me – it seems that DEAD SNOW sweeps the floor with Inglorious Basterds 5-4! But don’t take my word for it, see it yourself! Always, when in doubt, use Google to find the Real Answer.

Ready.. FIGHT!

gfight

- Timo

Inglourious Basterds – new posters & first teaser

Saturday, February 21st, 2009

The nazis are coming! Here is the long awaited first teaser for Quentin Tarantino´s Inglourious Basterds!!!

Check the trailer here

Here are also the new posters, enjoy!!!

inglourious-basterdsposter1

inglourious-basterdsposter32inglourious-basterdsposter3

 

Essi

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